SD

I will be failing in my duty if I deprive my readers from meeting another peculiar habitant of my society

We all call him SD. Please don’t confuse him with legendary musical director SD Burman whose songs have mesmerized many generations of Indians, In fact he has nothing to do with music in hundreds of kms of his existence but yes this chap is capable enough to take music out of your life anytime anywhere.

Factually SD is the initials of his name Savant Dhavle but they are also acronyms for Hindi word “SavDhaan”. Translated to English which means “Beware”.

SD is a 5 year old man. To anyone new in the society he seems to be an innocent looking kid, merrily idling away his time in the by lanes of the flats, looking with insatiable curiosity to the outside world. But that’s where his line of innocence ends.

And please note that look in his eyes is not of curiosity towards the world but if you ask an experienced guy like me, it’s the “I am a psycho, looking for my next victim” kind of look

And if you are wondering by now what’s so murderous about this five year old man, then imagine the following Scenario.

You enter a beautiful society. Near the garden you see a very innocent looking child with big dark eyes; hairs properly gelled with oil, busy in his own world. You remember your own childhood and magically you are pulled towards this chap. You say “hello” to him and that’s where your happiness ends as you have nailed the first nail in your very own coffin.

SD warms up and comes running towards you. He opens up his mouth with a mischievous grin and will begin with explaining some of the observations he has made in the last 24 since he has met you. You feel ok I can handle it. By this time he would have grasped your hand and would you drag to each and every coroner of the society elaborating upon all his philosophical thoughts. You still feel you can take it but now the sound of his voice starts climbing new heights, his pitch become shirker and words come out at a much rapid phase. You forget why you actually came to this place. SD will now be in full swing, even his language would change now, Language that no mortal can ever dare to understand and by any chance of luck, if you might try to do that, trust me you are doomed.

You try to move away from this words guzzling monster, but this monster won’t release you from his crutches, bombarding you with his meaning less but equally lethal words, sentences paragraphs pages and whatever lava his volcanic mind can produce. Finally you shrug away his hands with whatever energies left in your body and simply run away. SD will give you an athletic chase till the very gates of the society and as soon as you are out he will again suddenly transform himself into that innocent looking kid look, waiting patiently for his next victim.

It is said our society is one of the safest in the City. Its not that we employ one of the most sophisticated security systems available or we have the smartest of guards. But it’s because we have SD. There are many legends how SD drove away many of the furious thieves by bombarding them with the nucleic bomb of his explosive tongue. People in the society have also dedicated a song for SD: “Who Let the SD out?”

And Can you Believe it SD has developed special affliction towards me. I don’t even have to say hello to him. He waits for me every evening on the society’s gate. As soon as I get down from my bus and enter the building SD leashes out his entire day’s arsenal on me. I run for cover, towards my flat and SD gives me a full throttle chase. Finally I bang my door on his face a before I fall on the floor inside, deprived of all my bodily powers. And this happens to me everyday.