Roti Kapda Makaan & Bandwidth :


“India needs Roti , Kapda , Makaan & Bandwidth”, proclaimed a leading Indian daily. “Bandwidth ?” I thought for a while. I agree that the wedding season is in full swing and it’s a possibility that all the Marriage Bands in town are heavily booked but I had never imagined that this problem would have taken such an enormous proportion that the next thing people want after Roti , kapdaa and Makaan from Government of India would be bands for their marriage.

Even before I was able to come terms with it, my sixteen year old cousin came rushing and snatched the newspaper from my hands. “He is so cute naa!”. I thought she was referring to Hrithik at the back page but I was surprised when she pointed out to the photograph of the person responsible for the shocking headline above.

I have seen this guy. Yes! believe me, despite his huge side locks hiding every inch of his face . He has appeared in many other magazines and newspapers too, always demanding something or the other from the Government and this time this IT man has asked for bands for his wedding? After all he is one of the most eligible bachelor in the Indian IT industry as my cousin just told me.

“ So the whole thing is concerned with computers”, I said to myself and decided that its time for me to explore them. Not the cream colored box on my desk but instead Common Persons Understanding of Technology Emerged Recently.

And as I stepped out my eyes fell on the mouse pad lying on the table with lines “Even Lord Ganesha goes around the world on a mouse” printed on it. “ A good omen! ”, I said to myself. So gods too knew few things about computers and thus its high time for me to move ahead with this world.

Next day standing on the bus stop suddenly the person standing next to me questioned, “Are you trying to learn computers?” Shell shocked I stared at him. Is he the Lord Ganesha himself? Or a great saint just back from Kumbh?” I pondered or how else he knows what was going inside my mind. As I was about to fall on his feet I asked him “ How do you know my Lord?” Calmly he replied,” It’s a national hobby these days. Everyone is doing it.”
These words of wisdom could have come from the mouth of saint only.

I looked around and found two young men engaged in a heated conversation. The only words I was able to retain from the lengthy conversation were JAVA & H1B. I tried to clarified but the CV’s in their hands said “Languages Known: C,C++” and unfortunately I could communicate in English Hindi and Punjabi only .Perhaps JAVA was some kind of cult whose followers were blessed with H1B. Heaven Bound 1st, I suppose or in other words a quick way to Nirvana.

Totally bewildered I quickly boarded the bus and moved out. At the red light halt, I came across a board which said Your Government moves to E-Governance. ‘E’ was a grade which I use to get when I failed in my exams and I always rated the Government with the same grade . Whenever I see the deteriorating conditions of the city. But never in my wildest of dreams I could have imagined that the Government would accept it and that too with such a zeal that the whole city would be painted with boards proudly displaying the grade .

Totally confused I gazed around, a sticker in front of me read tavel@yourownrisk. And once again I encountered what else but the foray of Information Technology in everyday life or maybe the ultimate death I should say. Even the confines of a blueline bus were not spared.

And as I moved down , from the bus I knew computers are here to stay and India for sure needs Roti Kapda Makaan and Bandwdth , meaning of which I still don’t know.