Can anyone play Himesh Reshamiya Please !

DISCLAIMER : Well i decided to write about my Field Museum trip this weekend but could not take out a bugger called ArjunSingh out of my mind. So,only Go through the post if you are above the age of 18 as the text contains deserving expletives and if even if you are not then also read the post because you got to know how to address this shit head called Arjun Singh.

We were three persons. SI (The wonderful guy with whom I went in for the movie), NG (His South Indian lady friend) and third Sethi Sahib. Now this NG was a bit of surprise element for me. Anyways since it was already planned I went ahead with the trip.

The museum is real good. Believe me when I say its huge. It has everything from Original Egyptian Mummies, to the heavy pyramid stones which required 172 men to move ( Irrespective of Being an SC ST Or OBC) , the artifacts and amulets dating centuries back, the Evolution of life from earth’s initial years to the creation of Arjun Singh like dinosaurs to the first human lady Lucy. There was one complete section dedicated to gems and Jades alone. Also there was a huge section about pacific region. Hall for China was present and so was for Tibet but surprisingly no India. The only thing I found missing was a hall for Indian civilization. (I guess we need some reservation here. Arjun Singh are u listening) (****Fuck u Arjun ******)

There was a big section dedicated to practically all the species of animals ( except Arjun ) and plants u could possibly think off in their life size figurines. This one para above about the museum is just a tip of the ball pen lying on the top of the ice berg and dear Arjun if instead of Reservation and Quotas, you can think of giving something like this to India , I know in your next elections u wd be asking for Reservations for Americans in India ( ***** Sounds nice ! Fuck u again Arjun *****)

I really like what they called was House of Maori which the Field Museum authorities brought from New Zealand. Yes they had shifted an entire house as it is from New Zealand to be kept inside the museum. This house was built by Maori people of New Zealand as a place to worship their ancestors, where they believed spirits of their ancestors are present. It is a long hut with thousands of eyes painted on the walls. And when i stepped inside that dark house, I felt amazing peace ; I guess it really had some thing inside it. May be at least when spirits die they do not require a 27% reservation to rest in peace. (***** May the entire world in all its orgasmic glory fuck u hard Arjun *****)

And now the fun part (Yes despite people like Arjun Singh deciding the fate of India’s future, life can be sometimes fun. Taking break from Arjun here. Already given him his share of 27% quota in my post on this blog)

The lady NG was a walking talking national geographic channel ( That’s why NG , NG = national Geographic) , she would stand on every single artifact , animal figurine that your eyes can see in every available single inch of your vicinity and give one whole episode commentary on that animal/artifact , I wondered if she knew so much why the hell has she come here. And i was feeling "can anyone play himesh reshamiya here please ".

I don’t know why majority of south Indian kids are brought up with notion that the only way they would be sociably acceptable in the society would be to cram every word printed in Science , math’s and geography textbooks ( including preface and acknowledgements ) and vomit it out in tamilised accented English on the lesser mortals of the society like me.

Now SI had a reason to feel interested in whatever she was saying, after all he has invited her and now has to pay price for it . I could see the expression on his face which was exactly the same like a student of computer science made to forcibly sit in a class of biology and made to discuss comparisons between intravascular intestines and chromosomal cross sections of the human pancreas. And I really admire his ptience and guts for this heroic act.

So he use to stand at every stop along side her and by the time they would have completed theri discussion about the kind of grass chimpanzees from central Africa ate, i would have taken 3 rounds of the entire African continent displayed there including a hurried ride to European hall and a 15 minute documentary on African tribal dance .

I tried to keep up my pace with them but with them i felt as confused as a gay would have felt on an island of lesbians ( Sorry for the phrase but that was the exact words i told to Ms National Geographic and for the next 3 minutes she was looking at me with the same intensity as she was looking at the group of orang gutans couple of minutes before.

And then when she was comparing the black stripes of her top to the model of the tiger before her , i replied to her that the patterns on the top look more like the narrowly spaced stripes usually seen on the bodies of Gravy Zebras found in the semi-desert of northern Kenya east of the Great Rift Valley and north of the Tana River.

Trust me she was impressed by my knowledge of zebras ( which i acquired, learned and revised during my third round of the same hall by the time they could finish off the tiger window ) but some how could not find herself comfortable being compared to zebra no matter how exclusive they are .

So i decided to take an independent tour and meet them after couple of hours. In those couple of hours i took the entire Evolution section , the Africa, Egypt , Pacific, North Americas and Tibet of the world and also had a time to spare for a hot coffee and banana muffins in the museums bakery.

I met SI and NG after that. They have finally dome with Animals, SI had a face of relief, the same relief that you see on a person’s face when he comes out of a cinemas loo after holding himself for two and a half hours in a suspenseful Ram Gopal Vermas film. NG was still disturbed as she could not see and comment upon couple of rats and few varieties of Madeira cockroaches as it was time for the museum to get closed

Well that’s was my museum trip, in midnight SI called me and said he was unable to sleep because as soon as he closes his eye, he feel himself in Midst of national geographic commentary of importance of maintaining the ecosystem of the mother earth.

And I replied Imagine NG taking Arjun Singh for the museum Trip. This quota issue will be solved and clsoed once and for all. Amen!

(Once more before I end **** Fuck u Arjun *********)

Mid Night Blues

Us raat ko yaad karta hoon
Jo raat shayad phir kabhie na aayegi
Bhookh lagi hai zabardast , barah bajein hain
Daall ky maagi hai jo 2 min mein puck jayegi

Hey Guys if you were courageous enough to go through first two lines and then after reading the next two lines suddenly felt like beating me up red blue and green, like the way haryanavi Delhi Police hawaldaar , weilds his laathi on the hiding couples in Nehru park bushes then I am sorry , I cant help it . This is what happens to you when you plan to sit and write something and suddenly in midst of the midnight the lid on the PP ( Paapi Pet ) goes off . You forget everything on this earth ( Yes including SRK, Kajol and Himesh Reshamiya’s omnipresent aura on all the TV channels , national geographic included ).

I guess this is what happened to Deary Arjun Sing Ji (ASJ for future references), All was going well , Madam ji was having gala time in the fields of Amethi , Rahul beta was seen growing out of his baba suites , Sis priyanka was happily shopping for new clothes for his bada hota bhaiyaa and Manmaohan paaji was merrily passing away his time , till the time rahul baba grows big enough to wear khadi kurtas and Nehru jackets. And citizens like us were happily increasing TRPs of “ we-only- show- crap” news channels and creating tom cruises out of Deepak chaurasiyas of the world. ***Deepak aap meri awaaz sun rahein hain. ** Deepak **buzz Deepak *****

And Suddenly lid on ASJ’s PP goes off and the next best thing that he could think for dousing the fire inside his belly was to come up with this crappiest idea of increasing OBC Quota in educational institutes . Like the ready to cook two minute maagi noodles this was the perfect dish that would give him his two minutes of fame. And he knew Depak Chauarsiyas of the world will lap it up and show it on every available pixel of the Televsion screen to his targeted rural audience, who will gladly give few more breaths for another 5 years to the UPA mumble jumble . To hell with the students who burn the shit out of midnight oil to fight for those few coveted engineering , management and medical seats . Quota rules!

I have nothing against guys who deservingly need some support systems to come up in life and they can be from either of the classes but doin something at the cost of harming intersts of millions of others just because of the caste one belongs to or does not belong to is totally insane.This whole quota concept is nothing but a Hallucinatical way of dividing people. Any kind of support system should purely be based on economical status of an indvidual irrespective of caste creed , relegion or gender.

Imagine going forward , SRK cant pair up with Kajol because some one from Gaanv Jaunpur from the remote village of lakshwadeep has to be paired up as the reservation quota has to be followed.Or the IT companies like the one for which I work for has to do flowing allocations before starting the projects. 3 java Guys, 2 oracle guys, 3 UNIX resources out of which 2 should belong to Other backward of the backward of the backward classes and 3 should belong to any more backwardness that can be discovered in some wired undiscovered spot of Andaman Nikobar Islands

So here are few thoughts Sethi Sahib would like to share with Honorary Mantri Ji Shri Shri Arjun Singh Ji , The Gandhis inclding their adopted Manmohan paaji, Depaak Chaurasiyas of the world and all of you.

1 Shri Shri 1008 ASJ ,Think Beyond your 2 minute cuppa noodles. We know u could send Your grandkids and their grandkids to any place on this earth to study but there are millions others who are sweating it out in BijliLess , Paani Less Streets of Shining India to get the best possible education. Don’t put hot water on the dreams of these poor souls.

2.U can have ur 2 minutes of fame by proposing Mallika Sherawat from the top of the North Block Mantralay . Trust me , Not only u will get national but also international coverage for that. Mallickas balls are big enough to get you all that and much more .And I am sure Deepak would be there too. ***Deepak aap meri awaaz sun rahe hain *** Buzz *** Deepak.. Deepak ***

3 Deepaks of the world , Use media to educate masses about importance of this grave issue . Believe me Indian Public is intelligent enough to give an ear to serious discussions apart from counting how many kisses emran haashmi would place on the lips of Diya Mirza in his forthcoming movie.Don’t popularize ASJs of the world. Biggest Kick in the ass you can give a crack head Politicians like ASJ is to completely ignore them in national media.

4 Doctors , who have been the forefront of these protests. You guys rock, keep up the tempo , and I just hope millions like me can follow you guys. IIM IITs and my fellow engineers are u listening

5 Madam Ji , Rahul baba , Priyanka behan , The pets in 10 Janpath , Manmohan Paaji ( In order of importance ) . The first 4Guys u have been bestowed upon the biggest gift of mankind of having a surname that would keep you sailing in Indian politics , irrespective of what u do or chose not to do , so instead of doing something like this , give a bend it like Beckham kick in the ass crack of ASJ and Manmohan paaji show the world that Punjabi Blood in you can still give Sunny paaji a run for his money in taking the shit out of that sick mind.

A Soul Unplugged!

A soul unplugged, I roam around
My body lies, deep beneath the ground.
The day we parted, we had two worlds
She got her earth, and I owned the skies upwards.

A soul unplugged, in my clouds I reel
But their softest touch, I cannot feel
I left my senses deep beneath that earth
Where she lies, trying to find the softest touch.

A soul unplugged, counting stars that belong to me.
But their shining light, I cannot see
I left my eyes, deep beneath that earth
Where she lies, for stars she search.

A soul unplugged, I cannot feel my skies
My heart was left, where my body lies
My body never really got her earth
Soiled, soft, and now waits for rebirth

A soul unplugged, I look for body afresh
To live my heaven, never the less
But I left myself, deep beneath that earth
Where she lies, into a new form she emerge.

Mission Impossible 3 and Chaiyya Chaiyya

Wow what a weekend it has been!! Hey don’t worry Sethi Sahib is still to find that perfect girl for himself but despite that the weekend has been as refreshing as finally watching Ganguly scoring a big knock after a long time, so what if the opposing team is Muradabad eleven.

Well months of being away from home living in midst of people of different culture and people from my culture turning different, the weekend break was badly required.

Friday evening, after working like slaves employed by Egyptian kings to turn out some weird triangular shape graves for their burial, 24 X 7 since the last five days, this heart wanted something good real badly. Yes even more badly than a sensible and “free-from complicated-thinking- always-happy” women.

For Software guys like us, the saying goes, when in trouble remember god or search Google. Now god already has a long list of Sethi Sahib Wishes so Sethi sahib decided to turn to Google. And as always, god may delay but Google grants all your wishes in seconds.

And here enters SRK of Sethi sahib in firangi land. Yes! I am talking about Tom Cruise, Friday nigh first day last show of much awaited Mission Impossible 3. Man! What else a man need. 2 hours of non stop ass cracking action. Guns, lasers, head banging crouch jumping scenes in one of the best theaters in the town boasting of 21 screens in a single hall

Tom! Whatever the world says about you, your couch jumping, your women, your religion, Take it from me you rule! You rule despite all that!

Trust me this movie is worth a watch! It can pump you up even if it’s the day when you have been rejected by a women 234567897676th time. It can pump you up despite having emotionally drained out conversation with your girl, trying to be sensitive to her emotions and listening to the heart crying tale of how her dogs puke is changing color from yellow to not so yellow.

The next day was even more joyous , the kind of joy that you experience when the boy u thought had some Affair with the 1752762526th lady you had crush on , is once again seen roaming around with guys! The kind of joy u experience when that silly dog of your girlfriend finally gets picked up municipality anti rabies squad after weeks of colorful pukes.

So me woke up late, tried my hand making Aloo tikkis and surprisingly did well, surfed net, wrote mails to some dear friends, did a web con with family head quarters in Delhi, talked to dad from Nepal , had a long hot bath and finally a small afternoon nap on a cozy bed before going for a long walk to the lakeshore drive with a dear friend. Lets call him SI.

SI is really good man, definition of being good, loves SRK and himesh reshamiya , despite what the hell world says about them. 24 year old and like Sethi sahib, still to find that perfect women and despite being from south of India, picks up Punjabi gallis real fast quickly and deliver them with utmost north Indian perfection.

So we both went on a walk of around 3 hours, crossing one sky scraper after another and finally reaching to the shore of Michigan lake from where we took a long walk to my favorite spot almost at the end of shell museum which has a breath taking view of entire Chicago downtown and the beautiful Michigan lake in one single frame. The downtown skyline seems to be floating like a big shining boat on the lake along with scores of other smaller ones. Time seems have to stop there. A perfect hidden from the world spot for a heart to heart chat or just senseless gazing at the nonsensical world around you.

Already half of Amreeka doubt about me being gay and if your are wondering what the other half thinks, then forget it, the other half are males. So when we both sat at that beautiful straight-gift-from-god spot, I am sure the statement above was strengthened once again. And what we talked about, well I got some real good Gyan about share, stocks and mutual funds and high on Viagra sensex. Sethi Sahib always falls for an intelligent conversation. 12345637838th times better than discussing the color of the puke of your girlfriend’s dog and trying to make her see your sensitive side.

Finally, evening was giving way to night, the whole town was lighting up. Getting dressed up for the night I guess and we decide to head back to the skyscrapers. Walking all the way on the lake shore drive towards navy pier , checking amreeki kudis and clicking pics of each other in la SRK poses, singing himesh reshamiyas songs , the evening was fun. I bet Himesh Reshamiya in his weirdest of dreams would never have imagined that his straight from the nose songs would be sung in some hidden from the world spot in downtown Chicago with such zeal.

We decide to head for the biggest Mac D in the town. Had a heart filling, calorie incrementing and belly enlarging meal of cheese burger French fries and large chocolate shakes. Man sometimes in life you have to treat yourself royally and I guess that was long overdue from me. And if the meal is accompanied by heart to heart and gaaali filled chat of two men about everything that’s wrong about world women and work. I bet its heaven!

After yesterdays MI3 experience we decide to go in for one more movie. Zeroed on Inside Man. Trust me it was one of the best decisions of my life. Much better than decision to stop thinking about all the 1089755 women with whom I had one side affairs with.

The movie beginning itself was a surprise. a real pleasant one , the kind when you get to know that still in today’s age , some women could be perfectly sensible , intelligent , beautiful and yet unattached. Yes believe me it is possible and I am waiting for that to happen in my life too.

The movie begins and ends with SRK’ s Chaiyya Chaiyya song. Hey yes!!!, trust me , what I am saying is truth and nothing but the truth . Do you hear me?
SRK’s chaiyya in the background and Danzel Washington in foreground roaming in the streets of New York City. If apart from Angelina Jolie , if anything is hot here in amreeka , hen its India. You hear about it sleeping eating, drinking, pissing and also in midst of your Girlfriends dog health bulletin.

And firangs are going crazy about the song , I google it and see amazon.com selling thousands of copies of the song to firangi junta out here. Critics have found song better than the movie. People are sharing pirated mp3s on the blogs , India is happening man. I feel so proud!

And if that was not enough , the beautifully made movie about a bloodless bank robbery that never happened , ends with Chaiyya Chaaiyya too. Its double whammy and as Mc D says here , I am loving it .

The weekend is about to end, and like all good one side affairs of my life, this week too comes to a close leaving with me some real cherished memories and scores of clothes that needs to be washed and iron out.

And before i end , Thanks SI for the two beautiful evenings and you all have a great week ahead!