Aati Kya Khandala? Part 1

Well I thought really hard what should be the title of today’s post but I guess that’s probably the best one that I could come up, with whatever creativity left in me after measuring 250 Kms of country roads in one single day .

And if you have been thinking this is once again one of those women admiration/deprivation stories that I have been penning off late then I am sorry to disappoint you because what I am planning to write down in next few lines is the account of my first long road biking experience which has nothing to do with being boys or being girls but instead it has something totally manly about it.

I know with use of the phrase being “manly about it”, I may have attracted some of the most twisted glances from my female readers but yes I cant help it, believe it or not when you take on the roads, totally geared , helmet locked, speed throttle zooming on full blast , zip zapping across metallic monsters , where even a slightest judgmental error taken in splits of seconds can leave you with broken jaws and powdered rib cages the only word that can come up in my mind with whatever limited vocabulary I have is simply “manly”.

Please note that during the course of the journey you may encounter certain offensive bikers slang and if you are planning to nail me down on that then forget it because without them any adventurous fun is like “Dal tadka without a laal mirch”. Forgive me for my poorest of the poor creativity with the preceding comparison but you know I have already described the reason for this loss of creativity in the very first paragraph of the post. So if you are ready to eat the dust, face the wind and burn the rubber you are welcome aboard to be the part of one of the most thrilling experiences I had in recent times.

Adventure begins at 7 o clock in the morning when four of us meet at “Prasanna”. It’s the name of the restaurant where we have tried each and every dish available on the menu card in the last two years of our kitchen less existence and yet are every time hopelessly indecisive about what to order, whenever we go there. Translated to English, the name means “Happiness” but to my best of my knowledge nobody has ever left happy from the place after having tasted the food there.

But yes, as the life without a wife must go on, we have finally zeroed down on the only possible edible breakfast of Poha, Sheera, Upma and more Poha, Sheera and Upma, as few of us are really hungry and equally brave enough to go for a second helping and 4 cups of his special Masala tea. Don’t go on the words “Masala tea”, man that Masala could be as lethal as the latest biotech weapons for the first timers. It has made us begged, made us cried, made us screamed to the waiter not to add that special masala to his tea but we are damn sure hearing the begging pleas once again this morning, his dose of sarcastic pleasure is only satisfied unless and until he has made us gulped down that cupful of Masala.

After having survived the breakfast ordeal, we are confident and ready to face any challenge for the journey ahead. The fuel tanks are filled, tiers checked and engines are warmed up and we decide to start off. On the pillion of my pulsar is Higu, my roommate. And on the second bike, Yamaha RX 100 we have PNL and AJ.

Higu has contributed some real good swear words to my vocabulary in the last six months that I have the pleasure of knowing him. We will hear more about them as we move ahead, but yes this guy has unique talent of describing the most beautiful or ugliest creations around him in the best of poetic fashion using words from his infinite vocabulary of choicest of abuses.

The second biker PNL is as enthusiast a guy as his Yamaha RX 100. They both share the same qualities of having small thin light weight frame with quick pick up and an ability to go from zero to 80 and 80 to zero in couple of seconds. I guess they are perfectly made for each other. PNL has jut bought a dig cam and since then has become paranoid about taking pictures of everyone, everything, everywhere and every time. And since the last two weeks of him buying the dig cam, not even a single day has passed since each one of us didn’t had a detailed photo session whenever we have visited his house. He has clicked us watching TV, eating food and even us kicking him when he followed Higu to the loo with his digi cam in hand.

He as already exhausted many GBs of his hard disk hard disk, clicking picture of every dabba, spoon, and dustbin of his house. We genuinely thank god that he bought only a camera to shoot and not a pistol because in that case the entire Pune would have been wiped out by now.

The third man apart from me, Higu and PNL is AJ. Its good that he is the pillion rider behind PNL because if someone who can stop PNL being crazy then he is the right man with his cool as ice cool attitude.

Well the journey begins, with us touching the Bombay Pune Highway. The highway till the express way is cool. No pot holes, no bumpy roads. Even Higu behind me is calm and absorbing himself in the morning breeze. I am flirting with my bike, speeding up in the range 60- 80, just getting used to her sound and feel.

PNL and AJ are following us, on the Yamaha. With monsoon in full swing this time the highway has turned really beautiful. The hills on both the sides have turned green , the air is fresh , sun is playing hide and seek and its all grey up in the sky and soothing green on all the sides.

After moving some 15 km we turn towards the old Mumbai-Pune highway and gradually begin to discover the unique challenge Indian roads can offer to adventurous bikers all around the world. Man! Trust me this adventure tourism can be a big business. The smooth road give way to small bumps, bumps make way for holes and hole after some time transforms themselves to craters and after sometime you realize you are on the surface of planet mars. 15 minutes of ride on the highway and you will encounter one of the biggest patch of crater ridden hole and that too when you are climbing up the hill on your way towards Lonavala. Higu has risen from his morning quiet and has begun to warm up for the occasions with gradually increasing the intensity of his swear words. And then as we reach on pinnacle of the painful stretch where the shockers of my bikes have been put to the maximum possible threshold test, Higu says the biggest of his swear words which he only utters when he reaches the midst of Pune roads on his way to his office .He shouts “Man its BGB, its BGB since morning.” If you are wondering what the hell is BGB , then it is the acronym for words “Balls getting Banged” and trust me when Higu says it in Hindi , its really means we are going through some real painful times. But thankfully we are on the descent and road seems to be gradually improving. Higu also settles down but I could still hear some lighter version of his gaalis from behind. I am happy to have successfully passed over the stretch and it assures me that my confidence on my bike has increased. I am now more in touch with her inner emotions.